i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
