dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
