That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
