Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
