im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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