we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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