I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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