I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
