Your dad touched me again.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
