Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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