I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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