At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found puke in my bra..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
