I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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