Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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