I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
