i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
