So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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