So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
