Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
