You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
