I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
time to smoke my breakfast
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
