I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
