Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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