Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
