wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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