My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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