omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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