I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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