i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
