last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize