I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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