Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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