I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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