Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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