it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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