put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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