he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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