chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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