ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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