I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
