I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
