My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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