____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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