he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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