Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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