we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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