the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my shit smells like andre
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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