Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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