You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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