I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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