Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
