I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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