dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
