It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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