really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize