About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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