i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
