drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
