She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
