A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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