Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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