i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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