He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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